Being a father is the best decision of my life

I’m a free-lance writer and also a HIV-infected man.


Before 30 years old, I had a marital relationship with a woman for 2 year. The reason for our divorce is seemingly ridiculous: I’m a gay. Yes, I like man. With learning my idea, my ex-wife and parents didn’t believe their ears until I met my boyfriend.


After finding my real self, I led an unbridled life for a period of time: following what I thought and doing what I wanted. Although I was very enjoyable of carnal desire, I paid a heavy price for it. At the age of 33, I was unfortunately infected with HIV.


While knowing this bad news, I was half dead with fear and depressed for a long time. Soon after hearing words of comfort from my good friends, I began to accept the fact. I actively cooperated with my doctor, took medicine and examination. Fortunately, my physical examination report showed my virus load was nearly 0 and I cried when I learnt this good news.


In the subsequent several years, I led a peaceful life. I looked for boyfriend, but I would tell him my body conditions. To be frank, I’d like to find a man with HIV, thus we could get on well with each other at ease. Over these years of meeting and parting with my boyfriend, my friends had their baby and showed off their happy family. Later, I began to envy them.


I had no idea about baby in the two years of my marriage for I didn’t like child very much. After HIV infection, I intended to live alone till my death. But, I suddenly had such idea when I would be 40 years old. When I told my idea to my parents, they were surprised and pleased for they saw an opportunity to be grandparents.


I met Alex through my friend’s introduction. He is an experienced IVF consultant. He said, the sperm washing technology is very advanced. There is no problem for those with low virus load, like me. Under the guidance of Alex, I choose Georgia for IVF, where I found an appropriate egg donor under my mother’s overseeing.


Afterwards, I went to Georgia with my mother for sperm retention. In that period, there was no pandemic. Due to my mother’s accompanying, I met no man in that country. After I handled my business, we had a good time there.


After returning from abroad, I waited for embryo development result, surrogate mother, implantation and pregnancy test. Thanks to my sound body conditions, my sperm successfully impregnated the egg from the surrogate mother. Since my mother was very familiar with pregnant woman care, I directly added her in the communication group. Here, I’d like to extend my sincere gratitude to Iris for her patient and professional guide, as well as her tolerance to my mother’s “nagging” on her.


I’ve been a dad for nearly 4 years. The days of waiting for my baby are still vivid in my mind and I’m very thankful for my decision. I know it is my baby who makes me happy and gives me all of what I have now.


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